The Utter Heartbreak of Defeat


Well, it’s official. We lost the battle against CANCER. My dad, the best dad in the world, died on Monday, March 11th, at 6:30 in the morning.

We (my mom and I) tried all he would allow. Cannabis oil, made the Rick Simpson way, was the alternative treatment of choice, and we had so much hope, but my dad was too afraid to opt-out of chemotherapy as an option. He believed it would save him, even though the doctor told him it would not! That it would only prolong his life (which it most certainly did NOT). We tried to explain to Dad that in his case, stage 4 lung cancer, chemo was the worst choice! He was just too afraid and believed in Doctors-as-God too much.

I feel strongly that the chemo not only sped up his demise by growing the tumors at an alarming rate, but it built a toxic wall against the hemp. The hemp plant may be strong and all-powerful, but it doesn’t stand a chance against chemotherapy. Chemo is just too strong, too toxic, and too poisonous to compete with. I urge people who wish to try this alternative to ONLY do it without chemo if you hope to cure yourself of the disease. Do it FIRST, while there might be time to try it as a successful cure before ever infusing yourself with the poison the pharmaceutical companies make so much money on. That is all it is. It killed my father. He is dead because of cancer, sure, but he died FAST and HARD, and he SUFFERED IMMENSELY because of the chemo-therapy that was supposed to extend his life. It made him sick, it spread and grew the cancer, and it killed him.

I know this is true for a few reasons:

1) We started him on hemp oil four days after his first chemo infusion. He went on to have a second infusion (while remaining on 1 grams/day of the oil) and had a scan to check progress. The tumors had all shrunk by 30% across the board. AMAZING findings. Not typical or possible after only two chemo infusions. Chemo is cumulative… that’s the point. That’s why you have so many infusions, then stop because your body can’t handle any more.

2) Since chemo is cumulative, and everyone will tell you that, by the third infusion, the wall was too thick and strong, and the hemp only worked to quell side effects of the poison. It could no longer fight for him. It could no longer take those tumors down. Chemo took over and accelerated his demise, grew the tumors three-fold, and made him suffer worse. 100%. No doubt.

3) I feel that our trip to Europe (part of my dad’s bucket list) also played a role in this. He seemed MUCH WORSE once over there. And even worse than that when we returned. I feel the air travel did something wrong, (the altitude, maybe?) accelerated something already looming… Tumor size increased more after that. Now he was in constant, excruciating pain, that nothing helped. No amount of opiates, no amount of hemp oil, NOTHING. ='(

4) He had surgery to cut out some of the large tumor on his spine (C3-C7). It seemed like when they cut into him, the floodgates broke loose completely and he never recovered from a surgery that was supposed to relieve his intense pain. He died in 9 days. We barely got him home in time. My mom and I were with him the last 9 hours of his life, and those were the most traumatic for all of us. He suffered incredibly while we stood helpless at his bedside.

My heart is broken. We lost the fight. If only he’d not been afraid to try the hemp on its own. I believe the 7-in-10-cured-with-hemp-oil statistics. It was working for him based on the initial shrinkage and I will never forget that. If I get cancer, it’s the thing I will try first and foremost. But I couldn’t convince Dad. And I am so broken about it. Why didn’t he try? Why was he so afraid to believe? Why did he think it was the chemo that shrunk the tumors in the beginning? No way! It absolutely was not.

But I did the best I could… I hope this information / experience will help someone else find the best therapy option if a loved one gets the dreaded diagnosis. When the cancer is first detected, immediately get on the hemp oil, radically change your diet and look for community resources to do so (we had one called The Ceres Community Project, but even that my Dad wasn’t wiling to do because he didn’t like the food). Oh, Dad… how I miss you.

With the heaviest heart I’ve ever known,


Cancer vs. Cannabis Oil – Part 3

The news isn’t good.  Not what I expected and hoped it would be at this point in the journey.

As I reported initially, after one month on hemp oil, my father’s tumors all shrunk 30%.  That was amazing and wonderful, and the prognosis felt great.  However, at that point, the chemo, which I was not successful in convincing him to cut out of the treatment protocol, hadn’t had a chance to infiltrate his system to the point of a full-scale invasion on his body.  Ask anyone and they will tell you: CHEMO IS CUMULATIVE.  Meaning, it gets stronger and works “better” after a few infusions so that it can effectively build up in your system.  Well, I believe it created a wall/barrier against the oil and stopped it from working it’s full benefit on the disease.  It still helped him in many ways, but now the tumors have all GROWN.  Not what we wanted to hear.  Not at all.  What a crush.

I knew full well the chemo was going to cause problems, but I still hoped for a miracle.  Especially after the initial report.  After all, our oncologist said outright that the chemo treatments would only prolong his life, not save it! But at what expense?!  He looks and feels a thousand percent worse than he did before starting it, and it is not doing a damn thing for him!  Everyone in the medicinal cannabis scene said: NO CHEMO – ONLY HEMP OIL!  I know.  I know!  Believe me, I know!  And I have become blue in the face trying to explain that to him (beg him not to do it and only do the hemp; to let it try to work as it’s supposed to). But you cannot convince someone who is terrified of dying and believes 110% in a doctor’s role as god that he cannot do what the doctor/god tells him to do.  My dad is afraid if he doesn’t do chemo he will die.  What he doesn’t comprehend is that if he continues on chemotherapy, he will die.  ='(  I wish he would listen.  Especially now.  I believe with all my heart that the only way he will survive is to give the oil a true, full shot at that 70% success rate.  Much higher than chemo’s success rate ever was or ever will be.

The (sort of) good news in all this is he will continue to take the hemp oil, but he will no longer be getting chemo infusions.  Instead, he is a candidate for a lighter form: a daily pill.  I’m hoping that this will be less strong, so much so that the hemp will reverse the role and take over and shrink those fuckers again.  We will see.  Only time will tell.